girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
