No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm always down for nudity.
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