awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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