i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
