somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
