dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
