margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
