dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
