i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
