Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
