she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
