PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
