Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
