I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
