I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
