So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
