remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
