"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
