It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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