CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
