Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will be naked everywhere
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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