I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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