I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We have started to decorate penises.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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