talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
