I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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