Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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