I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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