Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
