You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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