She is in my trunk
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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