Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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