Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think my vagina is haunted
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
