i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
