You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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