He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
