you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
