I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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