somebody snuck up and got me drunk
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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