I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
