never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
