'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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