how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
