Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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