Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
