Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
