He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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