A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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