worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
