hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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