then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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