How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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